Why She Stayed

When many people hear about victims of trafficking and domestic violence, their natural response is, “How could those people let themselves stay in that situation? If it were me I would do x, y, and z to get away!” Abuse is a much more complex issue than any person outside of the situation can possibly understand. A person who stops fighting her abuser is not any less of a victim.

There are countless reasons why someone might stay in an abusive situation. Some of the most common reasons are fear, reliance on the abuser for financial support, pregnancy, distrust of authority, and threats. In many trafficking cases, the victims have their passports or other forms of identification taken from them, and they are often toldthat if they try to escape they or their family will be killed or they will be deported. Many of the victims aren't chained up in a basement, yet they are still unable to escape. Fear is a powerful motivator. Fear is paralyzing.

F is an Albanian woman who was forced into prostitution after she refused to marry her neighbor’s cousin (who most likely had plans to prostitute her whether they married or not). One day she was approached by and forced into a car with violence. As F recalls how she was forced into prostitution she says, “For sure, I refused to work; but you would never believe what kind of people they are and what methods they use to keep you feeling as a prisoner, as a victim.” F later admits that she eventually stopped fighting the sex work after her traffickers threatened to kill her family and kidnap her three younger sisters.

 Contrary to popular belief about victims of domestic violence or human trafficking, F is not any less of a victim because she eventually stopped fighting her captors. Instead, F should be seen as a strong woman who did what she had to do to survive.  

Additional Sources: Survivors of Slavery: Modern-Day Slave Narratives by Laura T. Murphy

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